Worst Day Ever!

We all have that day where you shout at the sky above like Nancy Kerrigan, "Why me?!" or declare you need to go back to bed. I experienced this full throttle last Saturday. I kept trying to look ahead but it just kept falling apart. When I look back to this weekend, it is certainly not something I wish to remember. Let me set the scene.

East county basketball tournament on Saturday. My communication neglected the location.I had not realized until "Where is the tournament" popped up on text, when our son should already be at the gym. Oh shit! Fortunately, I blocked certain words. The text messages received next read, "You are a Ducking moron" and "Where you dumb cubt", which were disturbing and amusing.  Word blocking on your phone works! I highly recommend it.

The upsetting part isn't the messages because I've grown numb to those. It was his instruction to the Dude to not speak to me and pulling him away in between games. I was so surprised, but I didn't pursue it because I didn't want to cause a scene. However, after the game I tried again to speak to him again, wanting to give him a hug and console a disappointing loss. My ex physically prevented me from hugging him with his arm. Before I was able to say more than, "You can't prevent me from speaking to him"; he turned and focused a verbal rage upon another parent. The whole scene escalated as my ex verbally attacked him and my own Dad for intervening. I could feel the whole gym watching. My eyes darted between the two men and the Dude's face. I still see his eyes wide-opened with fear.

My ex continues to alienate himself and therefore our son because of his actions. My ex spews hate and it catches up to him. He will continue to behave irrationally, and the Dude is the person who suffers. I am not even angry because it is heart-breaking to see the Dude's sweet face with a look of panic and fear; and not be able to protect him. I can't even hug him because he's with his father for the next week.

After that spectacular morning, I'm committed to holiday party and Cake concert. At least I have fun to look forward to. Right? Yeah, but remember it is worst day ever! I gathered myself and two bottles of wine, and make my way to a holiday party. Just before I'm ready to leave the party to pick up my friend, I get a serious of texts telling me the concert isn't going to happen because there is a mix-up with the guest list. I've had this concert on the books for nearly a month. I'm crushed, but still not broken. I rallied with amusing conversation and great company. Thank goodness I decided at 11th hour to go to this party, otherwise I would be at home alone. I guarantee you, it wouldn't be a pretty sight. I probably would have spent the evening therapeutically sobbing at episodes of "This is Us". Ordering pizza and feeling sorry for myself. Let's just say, I still sobbed at some made for Netflix show, just without the pizza because I arrived home later.

Sunday morning, I woke up refreshed. New day, right? Not done yet. If you lost count, misfortune occurs in threes. My neighbor walks up the sidewalk towards my door holding his bike chain. "They cut my chain and took my bike." he says. "You should probably move yours". Whew, thank goodness. My bike is still there. I get myself together, newly motivated to go for a bike ride, and head down to move my bike - except only the Dude's bike is there. Next to it is another old cruiser bike that the thieves decided to bestow upon me. How very nice of them. Yeah, it wasn't a good 24 hours for me. My Dad bought the bike for Christmas last year, didn't even last a year. People suck.

Still determined to not let horrible people break me, I decided Christmas shopping would be a good distraction. Except people still suck. Of course, as I sit in my car, signal flashing, having waited politely for nearly 3-4 minutes for a car to pull out of a spot, another woman stops facing opposite me, pulls into the newly vacated parking spot. REALLY???? I decided this is not okay. I waited for her to exit her car. After politely explaining I have been waiting for the spot, she says she was on that side of the aisle so it's her spot (seriously, this was her justification) and begins to walk away. I politely and loudly exclaimed, "You are so rude. You are a perfect example of what is wrong with our country" concluded with "Have a wonderful Christmas!"

It is all relative. In the bigger picture these are just small misfortunes. We still have our health. The Dude has a many loving family and friends who will make up for those less-able to do the right thing. What doesn't break you will make you stronger. Right? I had said this earlier to my Dad, but now what goes through my head (thank goodness for inside voice),"F*ck it. You better break me because if I can get up, I'm going to get up and break your nose."

My Holiday To-do List

Everyone has their holiday to-do list. Some of these are newly created, while others are long-standing family traditions. Here are the 10 things I do and why I do them.

1. Tree goes up the weekend after Thanksgiving. The process of pulling out ornaments bring back memories of picking them out and remembering people and places from times in the past.

2. Christmas lights viewing. We drive around in the car, loaded with Christmas music and drive around appreciating how much effort some folks make. We score the best and those who achieve risking peril in placing lights or Christmas props up high.

3. Christmas cookie baking. We've been baking Christmas cookies every season to share with people. What is better than sharing sweets with people?

4. We give stuff away. Christmas time is a perfect opportunity to access what we have loved, but no longer play, use or need. Giving things away clears space for some of the new stuff that will arrive (all you parents know what I mean). Even better, instead of buying toys, have you child select toys to give to other friends or other families that may have younger children. You child will feel the joy of giving and feel like Santa.

5. Advent Calendar. I purchased an advent with pockets when the Dude was in preschool. I fill it with love, little tokens and delicious chocolates. He always looks forward to opening them. In the past I've packed it with happy thoughts, promises to go ice skating or game nights. This is one of my favorite things to do.

6. I listen to Christmas music a much as possible. I change my car radio to the Christmas station. I love love love Christmas music.

7. We watch the Polar Express. Every single year. The Dude loves this movie and we make sure to drink hot coco during the song.

8. We go to December nights. Haven't missed a year since moving back in 2009. Now that he's older, we finish the evening by watching the production of The Christmas Story at the Organ Pavilion. If you haven't seen it before, I highly recommend it. Must do - stop at the Gingerbread house for hot coco and a gingerbread man cookie (or whichever cookie you like).

9. We open one Christmas "eve" present. This year the Dude got to open his last night because we're not together until Boxing Day (Dec. 26). This present is a pair of pajamas (usually). Since we were seeing Star Wars and today is pajama day at school, you can probably guess what sort of pajamas he received.

10. The family get together and meal. We're not doing "Christmas" or I suppose you can say we're delaying it. Of course presents will be exchanged, but part of me feels Christmas morning can't be delayed. So, we're doing a Boxing Day evening celebration. Yeah to being part Canadian!


The most important part of the to-do list? To remember what is important. It isn't presents. It is the feeling of giving. Giving your time, your love and your full attention to those who matter most to you. People move away, leave us permanently and kids grow older the magic fades. Whatever is on your list, remember to enjoy these moments and to pass along what is most important to you. For me, it is love. I wish everyone feels more love in 2018. Happy Christmas to you and yours!