Why I'm not a Single Parent

Let me start off by informing you that I dislike the term single-parent more than I dislike the use of boyfriend for anyone older than 25 (for those who know me, they have heard this before). Boyfriend sounds juvenile. The first phase of dating. However, what if all one wants is to date and not get married? Furthermore, I'm not interested in dating boys. You get the idea. It doesn't fit into my perception. Perception is reality after all. So, single-parent household? I'm a single-parent? Of course, it helps to define our lives and relationship status to the world. My beef isn't with its use, rather the emotional reaction that arrives with its use. It makes me cringe with shame.

Here's why - I don't feel like I'm a single-parent. To start off, I was never afraid of being a solo on a parenting path because I just don't think of it as solo. Although, there are times solo would come with considerable fewer number of headaches. I have a very supportive family. I'm close to my parents and my brother. I have a large extended bunch of Canucks, and an amazing web of friends, who are like family. If we limit the definition to: who financially supports and executes most of the day to day operations? Yes, I'll raise my hand and accept that role. However, it really stops there. We don't do this on our own. In my case, I get a set schedule of days off (which is both a positive and negative) a.k.a. our parenting plan schedule. I have parents who help me out by purchasing certain wants and needs, a.k.a. generous birthday/Christmas gifts, family trips and meals out. I have friends that feed me, not just my soul, but nourish my body with good eating. I'm fortunate that I know so many wizards in the kitchen. I'm surrounded by generosity. I'm not obtuse to this fact and I'm so appreciated everyday to be so fortunate. It is a blessing that not everyone is afforded.

Sure, the laundry, dishes, home checks (when the Dude is with me) and parenting duties (72 percent of the time) fall on me. Most of those things I would be doing for myself without a child anyways. Also, 95 percent of the 72 percent, I love. As exhausting as it is, I love every moment. The reward for adulting (successfully) is a feeling of empowerment. I can and will kick ass, but more importantly, I'm not singularly alone. So, don't commend or sympathize with me, but if you want to invite me over for a dinner, I'm free Wednesdays.

peace & love,
C.

Why Seeing People Like Us Matter

I read this article and immediately knew I had to share it. "(In) Visibility" by Maya Moore is worth the 5 minutes it will take you to read it. This article reminded me when I discovered Amy Tan's Joy Luck Club. I watched the movie before I read the book. It was the first time I had the experience of seeing someone I could physically relate to a movie. Someone with similar features and family dynamics. At least within one side of the family. I've had this feeling of inspiration 4 times in my life.

1. Watching the women's basketball team during the 1984 Olympics. 
2. Seeing Geraldine Ferraro run for Vice President
3. Watching For Love and Basketball
4. Watching the aforementioned Joy Luck Club 

Seeing people who look like you by race or gender do matter. When we can see ourselves in others, we can see what is possible. This is why representation matters in business, education, government, entertainment, etc...