Oh Happy Tidings?!

I narrowly avoided a rather large calamity on the co-parenting holiday schedule front. I mixed up the Thanksgiving week schedule. Oh, all the things that I nearly did and averted only because flight times were not ideal. I would have bought tickets for the Dude and I to fly somewhere for days that I wouldn't have had him (and they would have been non-refundable because those are the best prices); or I nearly made plans to be away for Thanksgiving (when I would have had him) and eaten up the price of those tickets. Whew, luckily neither occurred due to timing and/or indecision. Can you imagine?

So, now I'm recovering and happily planning a Thanksgiving feast. My whole outlook has adjusted because for the last several months all I've been able to consider is that I will not have the Dude during the holidays. Of course his father deserves holiday time with him as well, but up until this year he's always been with me Christmas morning. I planned Santa's gift and evidence of his visit. We have Christmas traditions like matching pajamas, and family visits in the morning. Christmas morning isn't the same without children, and since he's been born I haven't known anything else. I love Christmas. I love the sentimentality of being with family and watching kids open their present in sugar-induced excitement. It was safe to say, I was feeling Scrooge-like and ready to ba-humbug my way through the holidays; and I was starting with Thanksgiving. I was angry at the insensitivity of the judge whose reply to my proposal to split up Christmas Eve and Christmas was, "He'll have two Christmases".

"Kids who believe in Santa don't have two Christmases" I internally rebutted.

My dream would be for neither parent to miss Christmas because it is special, but it isn't going to happen. I'm not sure I could put aside the terribleness of my ex to afford him an invitation (although in the past I had a couple of times); nor would he ever invite me. The reality of the situation as it is, must be like many of families during this time of year. It sucks. I'm sure whichever parent is without their kids during these holidays feel deprived. Perhaps it isn't a divorce, but a deployment. I know several families that will be apart during Christmas, and I'm sure they feel sad for missing out on the warmth of the season.

Snapping out of my self-described pity party has forced me to make a mental adjustment. I get to kick off Christmas by setting up our tree the day after Thanksgiving. The Dude is going to be with me to kick off the advent calendar; trimming the tree, and will be with me until the 15 of December. And for the next three weeks we're going to love the shit out of the holiday season. We're gonna do December nights, search for some cold weather and make cookies. When he comes back on the evening of the 26th, we're going to open presents and spend the next week celebrating the end of 2017 and another great year. I'm going to appreciate the time, rather than feel sorry for missing out because being a parent isn't about you. It is about your kid and doing what is best for them.

Happy Holidays!